Honesty, so They Say is the Best Policy

I'm pretty good at holding things in, but holding myself together outside. I'm good at pretending, and I feel as if most people are gifted at this too. Maybe holding some things in is okay, but not all. I've had many situations in my life where a relationship wasn't going as planned, or had fallen apart, and looking back on it, it has been because of honesty, or shall I say the lack of honesty. I feel like it is easier to pretend everything is okay with people to avoid conflict, or arguments, it's easier to smile, small talk when around them, and ignore the problems gnawing at your heart. So many people, including myself, run from problems, conflict, and who blames them, right? No one wants to argue, or hurt and be hurt. But in the end, you will still be hurting, whether you are the one hurting or doing the hurting to another. I have had to learn the hard way, that being honest with people makes your heart content, your life easier to bare, and your walk with God stronger. Forgiving is a big part in honesty, if you can't have someone be honest with you under any circumstance, and you can't forgive them, well, you must be dealing with a lot of hurt, which I find always leads back to the whole, "If I had just been honest to begin with...." I'm in a spot in my life where I am trying to figure out who I am, who I will become, and what God has in store for my, what seems unpredictable, future, and my relationships to be honest, see what I did there, have been on the rocks lately. I can't help but feels its because I haven't been completely honest with people about how I feel, maybe with how they act, or I act, or when my feelings get hurt. It's probably the same on their side too, I've done something wrong, and they know it, but yet, don't say anything about it. Honesty is said to be the best policy, and I know for myself I'm going to be trailing back to the paths I've left broken my not being honest, and try to repave them, and only hope to mend them back completely, with contentment and trust.